Nice tits, fancy a f*ck?

Current mood: optimistic
Category: Romance and Relationships

It's miracle people get together at all these days. This is a conversation I had with a good friend of mine a couple of weeks ago;

Him - I really like (Name withheld to protect the innocent)

Me - Cool, have you told her?

Him - No, a few messages and stuff but it's building... slowly

Me - Can't you just ask her out?

Him - Jesus No! Can't do that, it'll scare her off!

Me - Well she either likes you or doesn't genius boy, she won't say no if she does.

Him - It doesn't work like that Adam, you have to fanny about pretending to be indifferent, but generally friendly for a while first.

Me - So how long will you be fannying about for?

Him - A month, that's the rule.

Me - Don't you think there's a good chance if she does like you, she'll lose interest or find a different genius boy to flirt with, because she thinks you're not interested?

Him - That's the risk you take, I don't want to come across like a stalker or summat.

Me - For fucks sake...

The totally tragic thing about all of that is deep down so much of it is true, why can't he just ask her out? Because I've seen it time and time again, two people like each other, neither will do anything about it because they want to act cool and collected. We'd rather follow the stupid relationship rules instead of saying "Hell, we get on great, Let's spend some time together!" "Great Idea, I'll get my coat!". Just what exactly is it about people speaking their minds that we find so socially unacceptable?

I suggest we have "Tell whoever it is that you really have the hots for them" day, and it is Friday every week. Tomorrow genius boy, either you tell her or I do. I'm not known for my subtlety either... Ner ner ner ner ner.